Thursday, December 15, 2011

December 15 278th class

I hate the knee slide pass. I totally despise it, and all its variations. I especially hate the knee slide combined with a near lapel grip, which sets up a cross choke. I hate this pass more than I hate hot beer. I'm still debating which is worse : getting stabbed in the head, or getting knee slid for the umpteenth time(in the same training session), followed by the obligatory choke out.

This pass is so extremely hateful, that no amount of counters can actually appease my hate for it. This pass should not exist. It should be taken off the map when people roll with me. It's so much easier to protect passes on the ground, when the person tries a lazy torreanda, or doesn't know what the fuck they're doing while tossing my legs left and right while I continue taking a sip of my favorite sports drink. Why the hell did they invent this pass in the first place, to make my life harder than it already is? I think I need to do something drastic. Something so incredibly drastic, it'll appease the passing gods, like sacrifice a goat, or burn a brand new Shoyoroll gi. But will that be enough? 

Unlikely. In the end, all that matters is Bruno's broad advice : fight for those damn grips. When the dude gets all hyped up and chooses to run around my guard, and I'm still deciding which grips I should be working on, while he already has a pant and arm grip, I need to put it through my thick head that I'm about to get fucking passed. That's bad. Ok, maybe burn a brand new Shoyoroll gi, AND miss a black belt class on purpose? Will that appease the passing gods? Maybe I need to go back in time, and make sure the technique never gets invented in the first place. Like find the guy who invented it, and kick him. Then run. 

Okay, okay. I need to calm down. If I know my problem, I have half of the solution already cooked up. This pass, like any flesh-eating disease, is better cured by prevention. So other than never playing guard ever again, my options are…. Learning the damn thing in the first place, and its entries. 

Here's one : From butterfly guard, if somehow one leg ends up across the person's midsection, HELLO KNEE SLIDE PASS! Or another one : Open guard, pull on one side, and place one leg in between his. HELLO KNEE SIDE PASS! Or another one : Simply put your damn knee in between his legs, and HELLO KNEE SLIDE PASS! Or another one. Half guard, then stand the trapped leg up. HELLO KNEE SLIDE PASS. God damn that's a lot of entries, a lot of options. Okay, what really matters in a knee slide pass, is actually sliding the damn knee in the first place. What if I get reaaaaaly sneaky and don't allow them that luxury? What if I chose the right path to bliss, and instead of trying to push their hip with my other leg, I hooked behind their GOD DAMN KNEE SLIDING .. KNEE instead? I know for a fact there's a sweep from there. Hard to get, but it's there. SEcond thing : don't let the damned passers grab my inside lapel in the first place. Or of they have it, find a creative way to freakin brake it, while ALSO protecting the GOD DAMN KNEE SLIDE PASS. Yeah… I need to calm down.

That, and learn how to recover spider from a stuffed knee slide attempt. 

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